


Always Darkest Before the Dawn

by QueenofSchmoop



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Hurt, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Men Crying, Schmoop, Season/Series 04, Season/Series 04 Spoilers, Serious Injuries, Talk of Character Death, tw: grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 04:40:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13206189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofSchmoop/pseuds/QueenofSchmoop
Summary: A personal tragedy leads to a revelation for the boys.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not know anything about San Antonio hospitals (but pretty much every big town has a St. John’s) and am just kinda winging it on the medicine as well (that‘s why I left it pretty vague). All I know I learned from reruns of _ER_ and _House_!

Jensen Ackles let himself into his co-star’s trailer with a loud, “c’mon, Jared, play Mario Kart later!” and a grin on his face. A grin that faded when he saw Jared Padalecki sitting, ashen faced, in a chair. Jay’s phone lay on the floor by his feet, as if he had dropped it, and his eyes looked shell-shocked. 

Jensen immediately went to his side. “Jared? What is it?”

Jared looked up slowly, blinking. “Jen?”

“Yeah.” Jensen put his hand on a big shoulder. “What’s wrong, big J?”

“I--I--my--” Jared stammered, mouth working. He pointed wordlessly at his phone on the floor. Jensen leaned down and picked it up, saw that there was a call from Jared’s older brother Jeff on it, that he had left a voicemail. He flicked his eyes at Jared who made a hand gesture that Jen knew meant ‘go ahead and listen’. So Jensen listened.

_“Jared, it’s me. Listen, Momma and Daddy have been in a car accident. Momma’s got cuts and bruises but Daddy….JT, Daddy’s in bad shape. We’re at St. John’s Hospital here in San Antonio. Come as soon as you can.” There was a loaded pause. “JT…I know you’re filming but if you don’t come you…you might not get to say goodbye.”_

And with that the message abruptly ended. Jensen stared at the phone for a long moment then looked at Jared, who was as still as he had ever seen him. He immediately threw his arms around him and pulled him close. He said nothing, just held him for a minute and then shoved the phone in Jay’s face. “Call Jeff back, get an update and then find the first flight out of Vancouver.” He got up. “I’ll go talk to the brass.” He turned to leave and then came back and squeezed Jared’s shoulder tight. “It’ll be okay, Jay. Your Dad’s a fighter.”

He left the trailer. The director was hurrying toward him, a scowl on his face. “Did you find him? We need to start shooting.” The guy was a first timer on Supernatural and Jensen brushed right by him, heading for Ben. “Ben, Jared’s gotta leave.”

“What?” the director sputtered but was ignored. 

“What is it?” Ben asked, immediately concerned. People all around stopped talking. 

“His parents were in a car accident of some kind. His Dad…it’s bad.” 

Many people expressed sympathy in murmurs and Ben immediately asked, “what can we do?”

“We need to get him down there. Also can you call Kripke and let him know what’s going on?”

“On it,” Ben said, whipping out his cell phone and hitting 2 on his speed dial. 

Jensen turned to a nearby PA. “Can you make sure there’s a car for Jared? I don’t want him driving.”

“I’m on it,” a voice called.

All this activity was abruptly halted when the director shouted, “EVERYONE STOP!” He pointed his finger right in Jen’s face. “I am the director and I tell people what to do here.”

Jensen rolled his eyes and turned, making a shooing gesture. People left. He started to turn back to Jared’s trailer when a hand grabbed his arm and pulled him back around. “Listen here, pretty boy. I am the director. What I say goes.”

Jensen looked up and spoke in a very calm voice, which made several people begin to back away. They knew that voice meant trouble. “Are you saying that you won’t let him go to see his possibly dying father?”

“It’s not like he can do anything about it anyway.” Several people gasped. “And he’s contractually bound to this show. You actors may think you can run off whenever you please but I am in charge and I say what goes, not you!”

“Actually,” came Ben’s voice from off to the side, “I think the man on the other end of this phone is the one who is in charge. And he says you’re fired.” Ben held the phone out to Jensen, “he wants to talk to you.”

Jen took the phone, ignoring the spluttering man beside him. “Eric?” He had a short but supportive conversation with his boss, in which Eric basically told him to do anything and everything to help Jared out. Kripke also told Jensen that whatever help he could lend, he would. 

“Thanks, boss.” He handed the phone back over to Ben and ran back to the trailer. He stopped dead when he saw that Jared had not moved. “Jay?”

“What if he’s dead?” came a hoarse voice. 

Jensen crossed over and grabbed Jared’s shoulders, forcing him to look up. “You listen to me, Jared Tristan Padalecki. Your father is not dead and everyone is waiting for you down there in Texas. Now shake yourself out of this and get going!” 

Jared looked up at him and blinked several times then stood and put his arms around his friend. “Yeah,” he said in a teary voice. “Thanks Jen.” He looked around and grabbed a bag and started to stuff clothes in it. “I need to call an airline and Jeff.” He stopped and turned with a suddenness that surprised Jensen. “Filming!”

“I took care of it. Called Kripke who said anything you need, man.”

Jared looked shocked. “Really?”

“Yeah. He was great, that boss of ours.”

“I…”

“Here,” Jensen handed him the bag back. “Pack some crap. I’m gonna make some calls.”

Three hours later, Jensen stood at the terminal with Jared, who was shifting from foot to foot. They had found the earliest flight they could out of YVR. Jared had packed a small bag and made some calls to family. He had learned very little more, only that his mother was all right and his Dad…was not. He had asked Jensen to watch the dogs and the house and told him he would call him as soon as he knew something. 

Not trusting in Jared’s senses right now, Jensen had secured permission to see his friend off and had accompanied him to the terminal. He had not changed out of his wardrobe and still had his Dean make-up on. He had gotten several odd looks because of it. Jared, on the other hand, had changed to normal clothes and Shannon had scrubbed his face clean. Then she had kissed him on the cheek and told him she hoped everything would be all right. 

Jensen knew how much it had cost Jared to hold it together right then. The wait had been filled with brittle silence. Jensen had answered a phone call that had come through from an AD on set who wanted him to know that Cyrus had been called and would be replacing the fired director for the rest of the episode. Jensen was expected back on set when he could get back to film some stuff without “Sam”. Do some scenes with Misha, who had been called up to Vancouver since he’d been in LA. 

At last Jared’s flight was called. They stood and headed toward the door. 

“Jared…” Jensen started but faltered, not knowing what to say. 

Jared looked up and tried to smile. “Thanks,” he whispered and leaned forward, wrapping Jensen in a huge bear hug. “You’re the best, Jen.”

Jensen said nothing, merely hugged his friend back then stepped back. 

“Wish you could come with me.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

They stood there awkwardly then Jared squared his shoulders and turned, heading onto the plane. Jensen stood there until he was sure he was on and then turned to leave. He wanted to stay until the plane took off but if it was delayed who knew when that would be. 

As he headed back to set, he began to make phone calls. 

 

_Later_

Jensen came around the corner and stopped at the tableau he saw there. Sitting in a chair surrounded by her children was Sharon Padalecki. She had gauze in a few places and looked a bit battered but mostly all right. Jeff was standing behind and to the side, his hand on her shoulder. Megan was sitting beside her, as close as she could get in the chair. Jared was on the floor, leaning against her knee, eyes closed. 

He thought about backing away, just leaving them be when Sherri saw him. “Jensen?” she asked in a hesitant voice. 

Jared’s eyes snapped open and he looked up. “Smeckles?”

Jensen came forward slowly. “Hey.” 

“What are you doing here, man?” Jared got up off the floor and crossed over to him, pulling him into a hug. “I mean, not that I’m not glad to see you but it’s only been about 5 hours. Figured you’d still be filming.”

“Kripke told me to come on down. Said he‘d film some Castiel stuff, make Misha do some work. He and Kurt are doing a couple scenes together by themselves I guess.”

“Aw, no, man--” Jared started to protest.

“No, it’s okay. I wasn’t really on my game anyway, worrying. Kripke’d be here himself but he’s cutting an ep in LA.. Everyone sends their love and well wishes,” he spoke up slightly to include the group that were watching him. It was then that Jared seemed to realize that he still had his arms around his costar. He let go. 

“Thanks. You didn’t have to.”

Jensen nodded. “I know. Got someone to watch the dogs and booked a flight. Almost just came down as Dean,” he tried to smile but failed. Seeing Jared’s face work he stepped forward and held out a hand to Jeff. “Jeff.” They shook hands. “Where’s the family?” 

“Wife is at the house with the kids. We’ve been calling them with updates.”

Jensen nodded then turned to Megan, who burst into tears and threw herself into his arms. He held onto her until she stopped crying then passed her off to Jeff as he stepped forward slightly. He looked right at Mrs. Padalecki and said, “I’ve only met Gerry a few times, Ma’am, but he didn’t strike me as the type to quit.”

Sherri nodded through tears and held her hand out. When Jensen took it she pulled him down and gave him a hug. “Thank you so much for coming, Jensen. And for taking care of JT so he could get down here.”

Jensen just nodded and let go. “Has there been any news?” He asked in general. 

“He’s still in surgery. No one will tell us anything,” Jared said, now standing off to the side a bit. “They won’t even tell Jeff, not even when he flashed his ‘Dr. Padalecki’ credentials.” 

“When’s the last time you guys had something to eat?” Jensen asked of them all. 

“Oh I couldn’t eat!” Sherri protested. 

“Ma’am, if you pardon my saying so, I’m guessing the first thing Mr. Padalecki will ask when he wakes up is if you’re all right. Now I’d like to be able to look him in the eye and say yes you are and not fainting from hunger, if that’s all right?” 

Jeff nodded approvingly where Sherri couldn’t see. She gave in and Jensen corralled Jared to run to the cafeteria with him to get some snacks. After protesting that he could miss something, Jeff swore he’d come get his little brother if there was news. With a little coaxing from Jensen they were off. 

Jensen sent Jared to buy some snacks from the vending machines while he grabbed coffee for everyone and a few items from the line. He sweet-talked a server into letting him take the tray up to the waiting room and met Jared back at the doorway. They were halfway there when Jared suddenly whispered, “Jensen?”

“Yeah?” Jen was having a hard time balancing everything and weaving in between patients and doctors. 

“What if he dies?” It was barely audible but so full of pain and so lost that Jensen immediately put what he was carrying down on the nearest surface and grabbed Jared, pulling him in and cupping his face. 

“I’m not gonna say that’s not gonna happen, Jay. Cause it might. I don’t know. But if it does, God forbid, we’ll get you through it. You’ve got an awful lot of people who love you, man, so don’t you go giving up, all right?”

“Yeah.” Jared’s voice was thick and he had to force the word out. 

Jensen pulled him into a hug and held him close, right there in the hallway, for a long time. Then he coughed and stepped back. “We better get this up there before it gets cold.” 

Later, the detritus of the snacks and several more coffee cups littered around, Jared snapped. “What the fucking hell is taking them so long to tell us what is going on?!” he shouted. Several people turned their heads and a nurse began to head over. “Jesus Christ!”

“Jared Tristan Padalecki!” 

Jensen watched Jared stop immediately, head bowing. “Sorry, Mama. I’m just--”

“I know. C’mere, son.”

He watched Jared go to her and she pulled him down. They held each other for quite some time. Until--

“Jared.” Jensen stood, gesturing. A doctor was coming up the hall, scrubs bloodied and stained. 

The Padalecki clan stood and huddled together, Jensen slightly off to one side. 

“Mrs. Padalecki, I’m Doctor Davis.”

“Doctor, how is he?”

“It took a long time to repair the--” and Jensen found himself tuning out on the details as he only understood about 1 in 10 words. He wondered if Jeffrey Dean Morgan would from his time on _Grey’s Anatomy_ or if you had to play a doctor on TV to get it. Then he remembered that Jeff was an MD and looked at Jared’s brother, who was nodding and asking the occasional question. 

At last Sherri broke in. “What does this all mean, Doctor?”

It was Jeff who answered. “It means he’s mostly out of the woods, Mama, but that the next 24 to 48 hours will be tricky. They’ll need to keep a close eye on him. And he could still have complications.”

“But he’s…” and here she paused, “he’s going to live?”

“Right now I’d say his chances are even,” Doctor Davis said. Jensen watched Sherri, Megan and Jared unclench with relief. He noticed that Jeff did not. “But we do need to watch him carefully, as Dr. Padalecki said.”

“May I see him?” Sherri asked. 

“Just you,” the Doctor said firmly, “and only for a few minutes.”

Sherri looked at her children. “I’ll tell him you’re here.”

“Tell him we love him,” Megan said. Jared said nothing, mouth tight and throat working. 

Sherri followed the doctor back and the kids sat back down. They waited in silence for about 10 minutes until their mother came back. Jensen waited off to the side, knowing he’d been momentarily forgotten. 

When Sherri did come back her face was streaming with tears. She staggered as she reached the room and all three kids made a move toward her. It was Jared who got there first. He held onto his mother, face buried in her hair, as she sobbed on his shoulder. They gathered for a group hug as Jensen wandered away, giving them their privacy. He pulled out his cell phone and made a few more calls, then came back. 

Sherri had quieted and the boys were now trying to talk her into going home and getting some rest. She was refusing but telling them to go. Especially Jeff. “Go home and see that family of yours,” she insisted. 

“My family is also here,” he told her. 

“Jeff…”

“Ma’am,” Jensen spoke up at last. He noticed that everyone started at his voice. Everyone but Jared. “I know there’s no way you’ll leave your husband’s side. Perhaps I could stay with you while Jay, Jeff and Megan go home and get some sleep and take care of things?”

“Jensen, that is very nice of you but I couldn’t possibly--!” She began but Jared spoke up. 

“Jen, you don’t have to!”

“I’ve got a better idea,” Megan suddenly said. “Jensen-you take Jared and Jeff home and I’ll stay here with Mama.” She stood and put her hands on her hips. “And don’t you even think of arguing with me, you men!” 

Jensen wanted to laugh, there was such fierceness in her voice and the Texas accent shone through so hard. But he bit his lip and kept his tongue. After several more minutes of discussion--no matter Megan’s ultimatum--a plan was agreed on. Jensen, Jared and Jeff would head to the Padalecki home for food, rest and cleaning up. Jeff would spend some time with his family while Jared would update friends and family on the situation. Jensen would let all their work friends know as well. Then whoever was up first would come relieve Megan at the hospital. 

Everyone knew no one would be relieving Sherri. Not yet. With the plan settled the boys left.

Jensen drove the rental car through San Antonio traffic in silence. Jared stared out the window, barely moving, which seemed strange to Jen. He was so used to Jared talking, farting, or teasing that a still Jared was just too weird. He thought about turning on the radio or making a “shotgun” joke but instead kept his silence. He followed Jeff’s car back to the Padalecki house, getting out there. He was halfway up to the door when he realized that Jared hadn’t moved. 

“Jay?” He asked softly. 

“Can we just drive? I’m not ready…I can’t go in there right now. So can we drive?”

“Sure. Just let me tell Jeff.” Receiving a nod Jen went in and quickly told the plan then came back out. He slipped back into the drivers seat. “Any special place you want to go?”

“No. Just need to get away.”

Another nod and Jensen pulled out. 

They drove for at least 20 minutes, Jensen randomly picking turns and directions when Jared finally spoke again. 

“Thanks, Jen.”

He didn’t pretend he didn’t know for what. “You don’t have to thank me, man. I’m your friend.”

“I know. Best friend,” Jared continued in a low voice. “But Chad’s not here or Jimmy or any of the other guys. It’s you, Jensen. And I have to thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome.”

They continued to drive, the silence a bit less heavy. 

“I was thinking about Sam, you know? Sam and Dad. I mean, John. About their relationship and about him dying.”

Jensen kept quiet, knowing that Jared needed to talk this out. “And about before that. Stanford and all that. I mean, I was always kinda mad at Sam for being a whiny bitch and leaving Dean alone like that. But I also was angry at John for closing that door. And then dying and leaving Sam with all that.”

Still Jen said nothing. 

“But I always figured that Sam loved John. He loved Dad,” and Jared didn’t even seem to notice the slip, “but he had to get out, had to get away. But what he really wanted was for all of them to be safe. I mean, he said it in the Pilot, right?”

“Yeah.”

“He never wanted Dad to die.”

“No.”

Jared turned and looked at Jensen, who had pulled over onto the side of the road. “Jensen, I understand now. The deals. I would make a deal with Azazel himself, hell Lilith too, if I knew it would save my Dad from dying.”

“I know you would, Jay.”

“I mean, he’s my Dad. I--I--” Jared began to sob. He hid his face in his hands and nearly bent over double. 

Jensen quickly scooted over and gathered him in his arms. He held Jared, not speaking a word, in his arms, letting him crying himself out. When it was over Jared pulled back, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve. “Sorry. Just seem to be a big girl, lately, huh?”

“No. You’re just a guy going through a rough time. And despite what Dean says, it doesn’t make you a girl, Jared.”

Jared smiled, a real one. “You always make me feel better, Jen.” He sat up straighter and wiped at his face again. “We should probably get back, huh?”

“Yeah.” He put the car back in drive and headed off.


	2. Chapter 2

It was quiet when they got back to the house. Jared went to check on Jeff and found the whole family asleep on the bed. Jensen stood behind him and smiled. They shut the door with a soft snick and went down to the kitchen. 

“Are you hungry?” Jensen asked. He’s been at the Padalecki house several times so he knew where things were. “I can make you something.”

Jared shook his head. “Not that hungry.” He saw the expression on Jen’s face. “Weird, huh?”

“Yeah.” Jensen sat down at the table with him. He touched Jared’s arm, letting his hand rest there for a while. They made no move to speak or to stop touching. At last Jensen sighed. “Guess I should find somewhere to stay for the night.”

Jared looked startled. “You don’t have a hotel room?”

“Nah. Was so busy getting down here and all. Kinda slipped my mind. Guess I could drive and stay with my folks.”

“Or you could stay here.” 

“I wouldn’t want to impose, Jay--”

“No. I--I’d really like it if you stayed with me. I mean, here.” Jared turned moistening eyes toward his co-star. “Please?”

“Sure. Of course, Jare. Whatever you need.”

“Thanks,” came the whisper and then Jensen was enveloped in a Padalecki style hug, Jared’s head resting on his collarbone. “I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here, Jen.”

Jensen patted Jared, tracing soothing circles over the fabric of the shirt that covered his friend’s wide back. “Why don’t you go get changed out these Sam clothes?” he suggested, pulling back slightly. “I’ll make you something to eat.” He held up a hand to forestall a protest he saw brewing. “C’mon, I know you have to be at least a little hungry. No promises on a gourmet meal cause you know me and my cooking skills, man, but I think I can whip something up.”

Jensen saw a ghost of a smile flit across Jared’s face and smiled himself. Jared nodded and said, “Fine. But if they call…”

“I will come get you and drag your naked ass right out, I promise.” 

Jared nodded. He got up and wandered away. Jensen watched him go, then stood and busied himself with getting pans and ingredients down. 

Twenty minutes later Jared came back, dressed in regular Padalecki clothes--which meant a pink shirt and jeans--and his hair wet and combed back. Jensen looked up and smiled. “Feel better?”

“Yes, thanks.” Jared looked around. “Breakfast?”

“Just some omelets and bacon and toast. I figured that would work.”

“Sounds good.” Jared’s stomach rumbled. They both laughed. Indicating that it was almost ready, Jensen had Jared sit. Soon the food was being eaten in a comfortable silence. In short order Jared was chewing on the last piece of bacon and stuffing the last of his toast in his mouth. 

“Mmmm, that was good, Jenny. You’ll make someone a fine wife someday.”

“Oh screw you, Stretch. The fans called you the girl in the relationship, didn’t they.”

They laughed together, the sound free and easy. And so were startled when the phone rang. They both froze for a long moment then Jared jumped up and ran straight to answer it. “Mom? Oh Meggie, what--no? No news? No change then? Then why are you--yes, Megan I know. Jeff’s asleep and we were just eating. Jensen. Yeah, you remember, my co-star on that show I do? Shorter than me, freckles, gorgeous green eyes?”

Jensen blinked. What?

“No Megan. No. So if there’s no change then why--” Jared stopped and listened for a long moment then in a much softer tone. “I’m sorry, Meggie. I know. I’ll tell Jeff. Tell Mom we love her? You too brat. Bye.” Then Jared hung up, standing there, hand clenched around the phone. 

Jensen was torn. He could pretend he hadn’t heard any of that and ask, he could pretend he hadn’t heard any of that and say nothing, or he could man up and let Jared know that he had heard everything. He was still debating when Jay turned around. 

“Megan. She was just calling to check in, see if we were okay.”

“No change with your Dad?” Jensen asked, realizing that that meant he was picking the ‘heard you talking’ option. 

“No. Nothing. Mom’s sleeping at last, Meg said.”

“That’s good. You could do with a bit of shut eye yourself.” He saw Jared about to protest and held up a hand. “We were up really early today, I mean yesterday and you’ve been running on fumes. Go take a nap, Jared. I promise I’ll stay awake and get you if they call.”

Jared looked at his friend for a long time and then nodded. “You shouldn’t have to, Jen.”

Jensen smiled. “I know. But I want to help. Besides, I’ve had coffee so I’ll be up anyway.” He made a shooing gesture. “Go on.”

Jared gave one more hesitant look then yawned hugely and grinned sheepishly. He headed up the stairs, glancing back one last time. Jensen gave him a reassuring nod then watched him walk up the stairs. When he was sure that Jared was up there he dug out his phone again. 

“Mom?” His voice cracked a little as he spoke to Donna Ackles. He told her the news and listened to her dither and talk about coming up. He put her off, not wanting to overwhelm the family. Then he asked her a question. She answered and that led to some more talking then him hanging up and dialing another number. 

Before Jensen knew it an hour had gone by. He hung up the phone and sat down on the couch. He flicked on the TV but ended up turning it off again real soon. He sat there for a few minutes, mind blank. What he really wanted was sleep but he didn’t dare. 

Several hours later though, he was snoring softly on that couch when Jared shook him awake. “Jensen? C’mon, Smeckles. Wake up.”

“G’way, Jared. Too early for call time.”

Jared smiled. Then he dropped his voice slightly. “Dean, c’mon we gotta hit the road.”

Still in that sleepy voice but now roughened slightly Jensen replied, “go back to sleep, Sammy.”

That made Jared burst out laughing and that woke Jensen right up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes like a little boy and looked around. Then he jumped up. “Oh shit! Oh shit, Jared I am so, so sorry! I totally did not mean to fall asleep like that. After I fucking promised and everything. Oh God you must want to hit me. We didn’t miss a call did we?”

Jared’s grin got bigger. “I’m the one who’s supposed to do the Gilmore babble, I was the one on that show, dude. And no we didn’t miss anything. You didn’t have to sleep down here, man. You could have come upstairs.”

“I was supposed to be staying awake,” Jensen grumbled, standing and stretched. 

Jared’s smile got soft and a little sad. “Thanks.”

“For what? Falling asleep like a douche bag?”

“For just, you know, being here, man.”

Jensen turned pink in the cheeks and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, well.” He was about to make a joke but instead he spoke what was in his heart. “You know I’d do anything for you, Jared.”

Jared didn’t even blink. “Yeah, I know.” 

They were standing there, embarrassed but smiling when Jeff came clattering down the stairs. “Hey little brother! Jensen. You guys get some sleep?”

“Yeah,” Jensen answered for them. “How about you?”

“It took a while for my wife to drop off but yeah, we slept. How about we fix some food for everyone?”

Soon they were all in the kitchen, fixing up a mess of eggs and bacon and other assorted food. Jeff’s wife joined them and shortly after, so did the kids. There were smiles--strained but there as they all sat down to eat. The kids had a short but quickly cut off egg fight, while Jared munched on some bacon and directed them like a general. Jeff ruffled his hair and pretended to push him into his plate. 

Jensen sat and watched it all, a smile on his face. The noise was all cut off by the ringing of the house phone. 

Everyone went still, even the children. Then Jeff was scrambling up and snatching the phone up and speaking. 

“Megan? What? Yeah, we’re all here. What is it? Well, why do they…? What? I know what that means but--” Jeff pressed his lips together hard and then nodded, even though Megan couldn’t see. “Yeah, we’ll be there soon as we can.” He hung up and turned to the family. “Megan says we need to get over there as soon as possible.”

“Jeff?” His wife said only the one word but it was enough. 

“He’s not gone. She just said we need to get over there.” With that Jeff turned and headed up the stairs. The rest of the family soon followed. 

Jensen drove his rental car with Jared in the passenger seat again. They did not say a word on the way back to the hospital. 

“Megan!” Jeff called out as they reached the right floor. Megan Padalecki was sitting in one of the waiting room chairs, her head down. It shot up as the family and Jensen came closer. Jensen felt his steps falter a little as he saw that Megan had been crying. 

“Where’s Mama?” Jared asked immediately. 

“In with him.”

“They’re letting people see him?”

There was a pause and it said so much and yet so little. Megan swallowed and said, “they said that he took a turn for the worse, that he doesn’t have much time left. That if we want to say goodbye” and here her voice caught, “that we should do it now.”

Stunned silence filled the room. 

“So they’re just giving up on him?” Jared demanded to know, his voice seeming to boom in the aftermath. 

“Jared, I’m sure the doctors have done all they can,” Jeff started to say but Jared was having none of it. 

“No, Jeff! If they were really doing all they can he’d be getting better not--” Jared broke off and turned away, shoulders hunched. He had shoved his hands down in his pockets and Jensen knew without looking that they were bunched into fists. He knew better than to talk to Jared right now, knowing his best friend needed time. He exchanged a look with Jeff, who obviously knew the drill as well. 

It was then that Jensen’s cell phone went off. He jumped and then looked apologetically at everyone, fishing it out of his pocket. He stepped away to answer it. 

When he was done he came back over and stood close to Jared. 

“Jay?”

“What?”

“Listen, I don’t want to get your hopes up.”

Jared peered out from under his Sammy hair and said nothing.

“I have this friend. Old high school buddy who went on to became a doctor. A surgeon. He and I were going to be doctors together, me in Sports Medicine and him slicing and dicing. Anyway, he’d been working on a new technique that he told me about last time we talked and,” Jensen paused, “I called him to see if he could help your Dad. That was him,” he explained, “he’s on his way up.”

“You think he could help?”

Jensen nodded slowly. “I do, yeah. But I want you to know that it’s a long shot.”

“It’s better than these quacks!” Jared gestured around. He looked at his friend. “He’s on his way up right now?”

“Yeah,” Jensen started to say then looked at the elevators as they opened. “That’s him, right there.” He gestured to the man getting of the elevator. A 6 foot blond wearing pressed pants and a nice shirt but no tie or jacket. He carried a bag and a briefcase. Seeing Jensen he came walking over, smile on his face. 

“Jensen!”

“Tim!” They hugged and slapped each other on the back and spoke for a few minutes. Then Jensen turned them toward the group. 

“Jared, this is Dr. Tim Fields. Tim, this is my co-star and best friend Jared Padalecki, the one I told you about.” 

Jared and Tim shook hands. “I’d say nice to meet you but…” Tim trailed off. 

“Same here. Jensen’s never told me about you.” If Jensen didn’t know better he’d swear Jared sounded angry. Or hurt, perhaps?

“Yeah, well, we don’t talk a whole lot but we go way back, this cheerleader and me.”

“Tim!”

“Sorry, sorry.” He wiped the smile from his face and became all business. “I’d like to see the patient, if I may?”

Jeff and Tim headed for Gerry’s room, chattering in doctor-speak the whole way. Jensen looked at Jared, who watched them go.

“Tim’s a great doctor.”

“I’m sure he is,” Jared agreed. “He’s your friend.”

They said nothing more for a long time, then Jeff and Sherri came out of the room. A few more doctors entered it as the pair came walking toward them. It was obvious that Sherri had been crying hard. She wiped at her eyes and sat down, her children immediately surrounding her, grandchildren at her feet. Jensen stood nearby. 

Everyone waited. Eventually the group of doctors came out, Tim last. He came strolling over and surveyed the group. 

“Well, I have to tell you that Mr. Padalecki looks like a good candidate for my surgery.” He held up a hand to forestall any reaction. “However, it is still experimental. You should be warned that there is a chance that he might not make it.”

“And if you don’t do the procedure?” Sherri asked. 

“He’ll almost certainly die.”

Sherri nodded. “Then do it.” She looked at her children, who all nodded. “Whatever you need to do, please, doctor.”

Tim nodded. “We’ve scheduled surgery for tomorrow morning.”

“Why wait?” Jared wanted to know. 

“He needs more blood and some other medications. Plus, I drove straight up here and need some sleep. I don’t want to do surgery now with either of us like this.”

The Padalecki’s all nodded, understanding. 

“The surgery will take several hours, probably most of the day.”

“We’ll wait here,” Megan announced. 

“I had a feeling you’d say that. But for now I want you all to go home and get some sleep. Consider that doctor’s orders if you have to,” he put on a stern face. When Sherri finally nodded and stood he put his hands on his hips. “Jensen, I’d like to talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure.” Jensen exchanged a look with Jared and then walked some distance away with Tim. “I really have to thank you, Tim. This is above and beyond the call.”

“All in a day’s work,” Tim replied depreciatively. “Now listen, I wasn’t kidding. There’s a big chance this could go sour. You need to get them--get him--ready for that.”

Jensen nodded. “I understand.”

Tim peered at him for a minute then clapped his shoulder and headed on his way. Jensen watched him then turned back to see the Padalecki clan collectively getting ready to leave. Jared had his arm around his mother and they were walking slowly together. As Jen watched, Jared looked back and smiled softly at him. He followed. 

The trip home was pretty quiet, as was their arrival. Jeff suggested his mother eat something, at which point she began to putter around the kitchen making food for everyone. Despite protests Sherri would not be denied and soon had a lavish meal going. Jeff’s wife helped her out while the women shooed the men and children out. Jeff said he was going to head upstairs and take a shower. Both Jared and Jensen nodded. They wandered into the living room, Jensen accidentally kicking something as he walked by. 

He knelt down and picked it up. A photo album. “Jared--” he looked up and saw Jared just staring at him. Then his best friend approached and took the book out of his hands, as if handling gold. 

Jared opened it and smiled at what he saw. He held the photo album out. “That was me when I was 10. I’d just gotten a new bike, for big boys, and Dad had shown me how to ride it. He said it was different than before.” Jared smiled, a real one as he looked at the picture. He flipped through the pages. “Ha! That’s Christmas when I was 8. That was the year I set the tree on fire.”

“What?” Jensen laughed, sitting down on the couch with his friend. 

“Yeah. I wanted this toy, don’t even friggin’ remember what it was, but it had batteries. The batteries kinda burst into flames and it startled me and I threw the whatever-it-was into the tree. If Dad hadn’t fished it out and dunked it in the eggnog bowl the whole tree might have gone up!” 

Jensen roared with laughter, which brought most of the family in to find out what was going on. “Oh God, Jay! Even then you were a dork!” 

Soon the family was talking and eating and looking at photos and telling stories and laughing. Every once in a while there was a pause or something but mostly it was light and relaxing. Jensen learned things about Jared he never knew before, like the time when Jared was 14 and tried to put on muscles by lifting weights but couldn’t lift anything heavier than dumbbells. Jensen reflected that certainly not the case now, eyes lingering over Jared‘s muscles for a moment before looking away. 

Time passes and eventually the stories trickled to a stop and everyone got quiet. Sherri suddenly announced that she was going to bed. Everyone wished her good night and then others begin drifting away too. Soon it was just Jared and Jensen again, still on the couch. 

“Thanks.”

“For what?” Jen asks. 

“For this.” He gestured to the strewn photo albums all over and got up to pick them up and put them away. 

“Didn’t really do anything but be clumsy,” Jensen says, a bit embarrassed, rubbing his neck again. He expected Jared to make a smart ass remark but he didn‘t. Instead he put the photo albums away, almost reverently and turned. He had such an intense expression on his face. 

“You made us all happy again for a while. We needed that. We needed to be drawn out of our pain.”

“I didn’t plan it,” Jensen started to say but Jared just waved a hand. 

“I know, Jen. But I still want to say thanks. For everything.”

With a simple nod and no words, Jensen ended this portion of the awkwardness. 

“You gonna stay here tonight?”

Jensen had thought about getting a hotel room but he wanted to be close. “If you don’t mind?”

“Nah. Hell, we share a house at home, I mean, in Canada. You know where the guest room is, right?”

“Yeah.” Jeff and his wife have Jeff’s old room, Megan’s in hers and Jared had his old room. There was a guest room that Jensen has stayed in twice when he was here with Jared. He made no move though. “Think I’m going to call around first though, let people know the situation. If that’s cool?”

“Yeah. Though I should really be--”

“You’ve got enough on your plate. Let me do this.”

“You take such good care of me.” It’s meant to come out sounding like a joke or something but it’s soft and comes across as something meaningful or something. He fought against the blush that wanted to rise on his cheeks. 

“Someone has to,” he muttered and then wished Jared “night”, as his friend headed upstairs. He pulled out his phone and began to make calls, letting people know what was going on. Many of them told him they will be praying for Jared and his father. He thanked them for that. 

When he’s done he got his bags from the car and headed up to the guest room. After taking care of business and changing to the sweats he sleeps in, he crawled into bed. 

He’s nowhere near sleep when a sound reached his ears. He strained to hear it, it’s not that loud. He got up, bare feet padding on the carpet and cracked open his door. At the end of the hallway is Jared’s room, the noise seeming to come from there. He tapped on it quietly but the sound does not stop. 

Taking a breath he opened the door and peeked in. Jared was also wearing sweats, tangled in his covers, the pillow half wrapped around his head. He was making small noises of distress. Jensen quickly crossed to him and shook his shoulder, Jared sitting bolt upright, eyes wide with terror. 

His eyes cast around the room for a time and then landed on Jensen. He seemed to both relax and tense up at the same time. “Jenny?”

Without a thought Jensen moved onto the bed. “It’s okay, I’m here. You were having a nightmare.”

“I know. Bad one.”

“Want to talk about it?” Jensen rubbed at Jared’s back, slowly in circles. 

“No.” There’s a moment of silence then, “did I wake you?”

“I’d just gotten into bed so no.”

“Oh. I’ll,” Jared started to say he’ll be fine but suddenly he’s looking across at Jensen. He stops. “Jen?”

“Hmmm?” Jensen hadn’t stopped rubbing. 

“Will you stay here with me?”

“Sure,” he replied, thinking Jay meant until he fell asleep. 

“No, I mean will you sleep in here with me?” Jared’s cheeks turned red but he plowed on. “I don’t want to be alone.”

Jensen smiled softly. “Of course, Jay.” He paused. “But if you hog the covers I reserve the right to kick you out of the bed with my foot in your ass.”

Jared smiled and moved over so Jen can climb in. “I don’t hog the covers,” he mock huffs. “I snore.”

“You do not. You forget, Padalecki, I’ve been around you quite a lot when you’re sleeping.”


	3. Chapter 3

They settled down and Jensen was suddenly struck by how right this seemed. How odd it should be but it wasn‘t. He was in bed with his very male co-star, both of them only wearing sweatpants, and he’d never felt more at ease in his life. He turned to Jay to tell him this but found his friend looking at him with tears in his eyes. He immediately scooted close and lifted a hand to Jared’s face. 

“Jared?”

“You know how they say that losing someone can change how you think about stuff? Or how almost losing someone can make you realize things?”

“Yeah?”

“This has. It’s made me realize I kinda take my family for granted,” he plowed on as Jen starts to protest, “and how I don’t tell the people I care about that I love them enough. And that--” he broke off abruptly and closed his eyes for a sec. “If my Dad dies tomorrow--”

“Jared--”

“It will hurt like hell but I will survive. I mean, my Dad…my Dad’s going to die someday, right? But if it was you,” his tone softened considerably and he looked off to the side, “if it was you, Jensen, that I lost? I don’t think I’d be able to handle it. This has made me really realize how much I love you, man.”

“I love you too--” but again Jen was cut off. 

“No. I mean, I know you do, Jenny,” there it was again, “but this? We’re talking epiphany time here.”

Jensen was quiet then said, “Maybe it’s just cause I’m tired but I don’t get it.”

They had rolled on their sides so they were looking at each other, though Jared’s eyes kept darting to Jensen then away. “I was having a nightmare about losing you. And my Dad…well, coming so close and maybe tomorrow--” he cut himself off. “Jensen, it got me to thinking and I realized that, well, that I love you.”

“I love you too, Jared, you know that.”

“No,” Jared shook his head impatiently. 

“I think I know whether or not--”

“I’m in love with you, idiot. God knows why when you’re this dense.”

Jensen smiled. “I’m in love with you too, ya twit. Though God knows why when you won’t even let me speak.”

It was with a little thrill of glee that he watched his best friend flounder for words, mouth gaping open and closed. 

“You--what--Jen?”

“I. Love. You.” He spoke slowly and enunciated, which earned him a hit on the arm. “Ow!”

“You’re not just saying that?”

“Were you?”

“No. But, Danneel…,” Jared trailed off. “Is that why you guys broke up?”

“Sort of. She knew that I cared more about you than I did about her. She just thought it was a buddy thing.” Jensen did not ask about Sandy or Genevieve. He felt that if Jared wanted to tell him he would. 

“I--” was all Jared got out as Jensen leaned forward and kissed him, right on the mouth. Eyes open, Jensen saw Jared’s eyes get very wide, then flutter shut as he returned the kiss. “Jenny?”

“Not a girl,” Jensen muttered and grabbed Jared’s hand and put it on his dick to prove it. 

Jared gasped. “No. No, you’re definitely not.”

“Sorry, moving too fast?”

“Just right.” Jared went back to the kissing, peppering Jensen’s face with butterfly kisses. 

“You kissin’ my freckles, Padalecki?”

Jared got that shifty look on his face Jensen knew well. “Maybe?”

“Weirdo,” he said fondly and carded a hand through Jared’s messy hair. 

“Jensen--”

“Shhh. It’s all right, Jay.” Jensen kissed him gently and then licked the end of his nose, playfully. He grinned at the giggle that issued from the big man’s body. He pushed at Jared’s body until he was flat on his back. He straddled Jared’s waist and bent over him, kissing him and touching all the skin he could reach with his hands. Jared, who could not keep quiet in the best of times, was letting out little moans, groans and whimpers all the while. As Jen’s fingers ran over his co-star’s nipples he let out a loud gasp. With a wicked grin against kiss swollen lips, Jensen began to play with Jared’s nipples, testing what he liked best. 

He quickly discovered that Jared liked his nipples sucked on and squirmed uncomfortably if Jensen bit at them. So first one, then the other, got Jensen’s full attention. Meanwhile, his hands were running all over Jared’s lanky body, touching and caressing wherever he could reach. 

“Jensen,” Jared wheezed out, “oh Jensen!” 

“You got something to say to me, Paddywhack?”

“Mmm, yeah,” Jared groaned out, biting his lip, “this is nice and all but how about you move that pretty mouth of yours a little lower?”

With a twinkle in his eye Jensen removed his lips from Jared’s nipple and moved his mouth down to his belly button. “Here?”

Jared half laughed, half groaned. “You know where I want you, Ackles.”

“Do I?” Jensen put his head lower and just breathed on Jared’s cock. It twitched. “I guess I do.” He licked a delicate stripe up the left side and almost got tossed off the bed as Jared’s whole body lurched. “Jared!”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just, feels so good.”

“I know blowjobs--”

“It’s not just that.” And Jared was struggling to sit up enough to meet Jensen’s eyes. “It’s,” he paused the forged ahead, “cause it’s you, Jen.” Jared’s cheeks turned pink. 

Jensen’s breath caught and he struggled past the sudden lump in his throat. He thought about telling Jared how incredibly girly that was but instead all he could say was, “yeah,” in a hoarse voice. They stared at each other for a long time then Jared’s big hands were suddenly tugging Jensen back up to him. 

Jensen half fell on top of Jared, a little “uff!” noise coming out. He felt Jared’s arms wrap around him and became a little concerned. “Jay?”

“You don’t have to, you know.”

Jensen didn’t even pretend he didn’t know what the hell Jared was talking about. 4-going-on-5 years of dealing with Padaspeech meant he knew it well. “I know.”

They just lay there for a long time and then Jared raised a hand and brushed his thumb over Jensen’s mouth. “Love your lips,” he murmured. 

Jensen smiled. “Really? I never would have guessed.” He bent and kissed his friend, then pulled back and licked the taste of Jared-always so sweet, Jen knew it was all the candy he ate-off his lips. The sight made him groan and Jensen felt Jared’s cock pulse against his thigh. 

He tried to wriggle back down to finish the blowjob but Jared would not let him go. 

“Jay?”

“I…it’s stupid but I just…I don’t want to let you go.” He turned his face away, embarrassed. 

Absurdly touched, Jensen cupped his friend’s cheek and turned his face back so they could meet each other’s eyes. “Hey. No need to be embarrassed with me, Jarebear. Remember, I’ve seen you do way more awkward things than this. And--” he bent and bussed Jared’s lips, “I think it’s sweet. You’re just a big ol’ teddy bear, aren’t you?” His tone was teasing but affectionate. “Kinda one of the things I love about you, man.”

Jared’s bright smile suddenly burst free at those words. He had not yet gotten used to hearing them and so they were a wonderful surprise every time he heard them. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re not a cynical old man like I am,” Jensen joked. 

“You’re not old, Jenny. Cynical maybe…”

Jensen whapped Jared, which did not even phase him. Then he rolled them both so they were on their sides. He arranged the both of them so their cocks were lined up together and reached his hand down to surround them both. He began jacking them both off, keeping his eyes on Jared. After a few minutes, one of Jared’s big hands enclosed his and they moved together. As they got closer Jared leaned in and kissed Jensen, the rhythm of the kiss, of their tongues in each other’s mouths matching those of their hands. 

Jensen pulled his mouth away long enough to say, “close, Jay.”

“Me too, Jen.” They worked their hands harder and then Jensen felt Jared stiffen. He watched as his friend--no, now his lover--achieved orgasm. Then Jared’s big hand on him again and he was coming too, swallowing his cries of bliss. He felt his breathing settle back down and his pulse return to normal. 

He opened his eyes and saw Jared looking at him, tired, happy and eyes bright with affection. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Now you have to tell me,” Jensen felt compelled to say. 

“Just…you’re so beautiful when you come.”

Jensen pushed aside the joke answer that he immediately wanted to respond with and instead brought his unstuck hand up to touch Jared’s face. “Funny, I was thinking the same thing.”

“You were thinking how beautiful you are when you come?” Jared tried to joke. 

Jensen wasn’t going to let him, though. “No. I was thinking how beautiful you are. All the fuckin‘ time, Jared.”

Jared shifted his eyes away then back. He always had trouble taking compliments seriously, Jensen knew, but this time he let it slide. To help ease the way, Jensen leaned in and kissed him. Then he began to get up. 

“Where are you going?” Was that panic in Jared’s voice, Jensen wondered. 

“Just to the bathroom to get a washcloth. We don’t want to sleep like this,” he gestured at their bodies, semen splattered all over them. 

“Oh. Yeah, okay.” 

Jensen felt Jared’s eyes on him as he wet the washcloth and came back, cleaning them both up. He took it back to the bathroom, washed his hands, put his sweats back on and climbed back into bed. He knew without even looking what Jared was thinking so he simply flopped back down, grabbed Jared and pulled him over. When they were all cuddled together he spoke softly. 

“Now will you go to fucking sleep? Not going anywhere, dumbass.”

He couldn’t see Jared’s face but he was pretty sure that he knew what expressions were flitting over it. He waited and then came the reply, “you’re the dumbass.” But he felt Jared relax in his arms and settle down. Jensen let his breathing even out and his eyes settle closed. As he drifted off to sleep he muttered, “love you.”

He never heard the reply of “love you too.”

Jensen woke the next morning wrapped up in covers, sweat and Jared Padalecki. The covers were easy enough to disentangle himself from. Jared, however, was more difficult. Glancing at the clock he chose the fastest way. 

“Jared. C’mon, Jay, gotta get up.”

“Mmmm. Five more minutes.”

“Jared,” Jensen sing-songed, “time to get up now.” No answer. “C’mon, we gotta get up before your mother--or worse, Megan--comes to wake us up and finds us like this.”

“Don’t care,” came the mumbled reply, which made Jensen grin like an idiot. 

“Me either except Megan will never let us live it down. If you get up we can have breakfast,” he tried to lure his lover out of bed. No dice. Jensen hated to do it but he knew what he had to say. “Jay…time to get up and go to the hospital,” he said very quietly. 

It might have been as if he had shouted, from the way that Jared’s eyes shot open and he flinched. Jensen immediately grabbed him and pulled him back close. Jared hung on, burying his face in Jen’s salty skin. 

“I’ll be there every step of the way,” Jensen promised. 

“I know.” Jared pulled back enough to kiss him, letting it spin out and then end. He pressed their foreheads together and then pushed himself back. “I’mma take a shower.”

“Need someone to scrub your back?” Jensen tried for teasing but it came out kind of tight and closed off. 

“I wish,” and he did look dejected. “Probably shouldn’t though.” 

Understanding, Jensen nodded and climbed out of the bed. He headed for the door and had just touched the knob when--

“Jensen?”

He turned around immediately. “Yeah Jared?”

“This…this isn’t going to change…out there,” Jared gestured to the door, to the outside world, “is it?”

“Not if you don’t want it to.”

Before Jensen could blink Jared was in front of him, pushing him into the door and kissing him hard. When Jay pulled back Jensen was panting. “I don’t want it to. I never want it to.”

“Then it won’t.” It was said in such final tones that it felt like a vow. He let it reverberate and then gave a playful shove. “Go take your shower, stretch. You stink!”

He left his lover laughing, padded to his room, took his own shower and dressed for the day. As far as he could tell no one else was up, so he headed downstairs to start the coffee. In the kitchen, however, was Sherri Padalecki, sitting at the table and staring out into space. 

“Oh, sorry ma’am, didn’t realize anyone was up yet.”

Sherri started and then looked embarrassed. “No, I just…” she trailed off, “couldn’t sleep, I guess.”

Jensen nodded and began to root around the kitchen. He started coffee and then sat down at the table with her. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, ma’am,” he started off, “but I have to believe that Gerry will be fine. Tim’s a good doc--no, make that a great doctor. And Gerry’s a fighter. He’ll come back to you if he can.”

Sherri looked up from the table, eyes bright with unshed tears and reached a hand across. Jensen took it and squeezed. “That’s what I keep telling myself, Jensen, but the doubt creeps in.”

“I know. But you can’t let it get to you. You have to have faith.”

Sherri nodded and raised her other hand to dash away the tears from her eyes. “You’ve been so helpful in our time of need, dear. I don’t feel like I’ve said thank you properly.”

“There’s no need--” Jensen started to protest but he was cut off. 

By Jared, who had just walked into the kitchen. “Don’t go giving him a swelled head, Mama. He gets enough of the flattery up in Vancouver.”

“Jared, I was just trying to tell your friend--” she broke off as the boys looked at each other and started giggling like loons. She saw a flash of something pass between them and tucked it away for later thought. 

Jared padded into the kitchen, heading straight for the coffee maker, fingers trailing over Jensen’s shoulders as he walked by him. “How are you still conscious without the black elixir?” he teased. 

“How are you still functional without something to eat yet?” came the retort. 

The boys carried on like that for a time, making Sherri smile slightly. She knew it was mostly for her benefit and appreciated it. She also knew a lot of it was just how they were with each other. She watched them as the coffee finished and as her son attempted to make breakfast. She had to intervene on that one. 

Soon her whole family was downstairs, sitting at the table, eating and trying to joke. But they keenly felt the absence of one person. People kept glancing at Gerry’s chair from time to time. At last they were all done and gotten cleaned up. Sherri stood and said, “it’s time.”

The room hushed and then purses were found, car keys collected, who was riding with who figured out. Once again, Jared opted to ride with Jensen in his car, something that did not go unnoticed by Mama Padalecki. They began their trek to the hospital. 

Once there they were told that the surgery had already started, but that they wouldn’t have been able to see the patient beforehand anyway. They settled into chairs and brought out books, magazines, crossword puzzles and toys for the kids. It was too early for food and they had just had coffee so they stayed that way for some time. 

Time passed. Every once in a while someone would stand to stretch their legs, get up to go to the bathroom or be sent down to get coffee for the group. Jensen usually took it upon himself to do this, wanting the family to be there in case. He came back from one of his runs to find Jared missing. 

“Where’s Jared?” He asked. 

“He kind of wandered off,” Megan answered. 

“Wandered off where?”

“Don’t know. I think he needed to be alone for a while.”

Jensen sat down, understanding but a bit hurt. He sat there for a good ten minutes then excused himself and went looking. 

He found Jared in the chapel 2 flights down. It was empty except for them. 

“Jared?”

His big head bowed but obviously not in prayer, Jared spoke, “should have known you’d find me.”

“If you want to be alone--”

“Not from you.” 

Jensen came into the pew but did not sit down beside him. Frankly, his butt was going numb from all this sitting. He leaned against the back of the other pew instead. He stood there, Jared sat there, in complete silence for a long time. Then Jared raised his head, tears running all down his cheeks. 

Without thinking Jensen immediately threw himself down on the pew beside him, gathered him up in his arms and held Jared tight. Silent tears continued to stream down Jared’s face as he lay, limp and boneless against his lover. Jensen soon found himself crooning a soft little tune under his breath and almost rocking Jared’s body. 

Finally Jared pushed away. “Thanks,” was all he said but it was enough. 

“You’re welcome.”

By mutual assent they sat there for a while longer, both thinking their own thoughts, barely touching but needing to be close. At last, Jared stood and stretched. He held his hand out to Jensen, who took it and let himself be pulled up. They were standing so close, close enough to kiss. 

“Would it be blasphemous for me to kiss you here?” 

Jensen looked up at him. “Probably, but do it anyway.”

With a laugh, Jared did just that. And then, hands tucked in each other’s they walked back out into the world. 

Not much had changed when they got back to the waiting room. Sherri gave them a speculative glance, eyes flitting down to where their hands were still entwined, but said nothing. Megan was asleep in one of the chairs and Jeff was talking to his wife. The boys sat down together and settled in. 

At exactly 2:48 PM (a time Jensen would remember forever), his old friend Tim came into the waiting room. He expected Jared to stand, to rush to his mother’s side. Instead, he felt Jared reaching for his hand and made sure to grip it tight. 

Tim addressed the room, looking mostly at Sherri. “The surgery is over and it seems to be a success.” A series of whooshes as air was let out of lungs and yet there was still an anticipatory hush in the room. “It went well and Mr. Padalecki will definitely live,” Megan burst into tears at this, “but there could be unforeseen side effects.”

“Like what?” Jeff asked. 

“There’s a possibility of some paralysis--full or partial. There’s a possibility of some brain damage as well. Could be memory loss, or an impairment of judgment or other mental capacity. It’s too soon to tell. Or, he could be perfectly fine.”

“When will we know?” Sherri asked quietly. 

“We’ll know most of it shortly after he wakes up,” Tim held up a hand to forestall the next, obvious question, “which will be in about 4 hours from now. The rest may take some time to figure out though.”

Sherri stood and, brushing aside her children’s concern, walked over to the man who had saved Gerry’s life. She said, “I don’t know how to thank you, Doctor.”

Tim smiled. “It’s what I do.” He flicked his head at Jensen. “If you want to thank anyone, thank this guy for thinking of me. And for keeping up on what I’ve been doing lately.”

But Sherri did not turn. Instead she moved forward and hugged the man in front of her, not seeing his cheeks turn pink. She murmured something too low for everyone else to hear and then backed away. She sat back down, her children crowding around her now. All except Jared, who was watching Jensen approach, his friend now. 

“Thanks, man. Really. I owe you big time.”

“How about you come to my house for dinner next time you have a break?” Tim teased. “My wife would love to hear stories about Hollywood.” He hesitated and then added, “you should bring Jared too.”

Jensen stilled, looked at Tim and smiled. “That obvious?”

“Satellites can see things like that, Ackles, yeah.”

Jensen laughed, low and comfortable and clapped his friend on the shoulder. “You go get some rest, Doctor. And thanks.”

With a brisk nod, Tim hurried off. Jensen turned back to see Jared watching him. He crossed the room, took both of his lover’s hands and drew him up, giving him a push toward his family. “Go on.”

“You too,” Jared protested. 

“I’ll be there in a minute.” With another little shove, Jensen got Jared going, watching the family envelope him in loving arms. He scuttled away, finding a quiet corner and breathed deep to keep from bursting into tears himself. Then he pulled out his cell phone. 

“Mom? Yeah, it’s me. Surgery’s over and Gerry’s going to live.” He went on to tell his mother some of the rest of the details and then asked her a few favors. He placed a quick call to Kripke and asked him to spread the news to everyone, texted Welling and Rosenbaum and a few others then went back out there. 

To his surprise, only Jared was left waiting. “Everyone else is heading home to change and get something to eat. Then we‘re coming back here till Dad‘s awake.”

“Sounds good.” Jensen walked to Jared, who immediately swooped down and kissed him, right there in public. Mouth gaping with surprise, he asked, “what was that for?”

Jared smiled. “For being you. Now c’mon,” Jared tugged at his hand. “Before Jeff eats all Mom’s cornbread.” 

Fighting a laugh, Jensen let himself be led outside. 

 

_Epilogue--6 months later_

“Jared Tristan Padalecki!” came the shout from the kitchen. Jared turned from where he’d been playing with his nephew with a shamefaced look on his face. 

“Jensen did it!” he shouted back, shooting a look at his lover. Jensen was seated on the couch, helping Jeff’s wife untangle the dogs from some tinsel. He didn’t bother replying, knowing that Sherri would never believe this lie. 

Sherri came out of the kitchen, holding an empty plate. “Jared, Jensen knows better than to eat all of my oatmeal raisin cookies! These were for tomorrow.”

“Sorry, Mama,” Jared said but had a very un-apologetic look on his face. 

She sighed with exasperation and fondness. “Luckily, I made more. And no, I will not tell you where they are, they’re hidden!” She headed back into the kitchen to finish cleaning up after supper. All the children had offered to help but she said she wanted to do it alone. 

When she was done and everyone was in the living room again, Jared suddenly looked at Jensen and mouthed, ‘now?’

Jensen looked surprised but then nodded and mouthed back, “If you’re sure.”

Jared stood, crossed over to him and drew him to a standing position, then out to the middle of the floor. “Um, everyone, can I have your attention for a second?”

“Oh JT, if this is you telling us that you and Jensen are getting another dog--” Megan started to say but she was cut off by a cough from the corner. 

Everyone immediately quieted. “Let the boy talk.”

With a grateful smile to his father, Jared took Jensen’s hand. “Um, well, we’ve been waiting to tell you guys but,” he took a deep breath, “I asked Jensen to marry me. And he said yes.”

The room was deadly silent for a long moment then exploded with talk, laughter and squeals. Above it all came a triumphant, “I knew it!” from Megan, a series of congratulations from Jeff and his wife and just happy noises from Sherri, who had jumped up to hug them both. The kids were jumping around singing “Uncle Jared’s getting married, Uncle Jared’s getting married!” It was just general chaos. But through it all one person had not yet spoken. 

When the figure in the corner stood and made its way through, the whole family quieted. Leaning heavily on his cane, Gerry Padalecki looked at his son and boyfriend. 

“It took you a while, JT,” he told Jared, “but you came through in the end.” Then he turned to Jensen. “I would say welcome to the family, son, but you’ve been part of it for a long time already.” He held out his hand and Jensen took it, both men struggling manfully not to cry. Jared was already leaking a few tears, looking so proud and happy he could almost burst. “Best Christmas present we could get,” Gerry continued. 

There was a moment of happy silence, broken by Sadie barking, which made them all laugh. Sherri dashed at the tears in her eyes and set about bustling. 

Jensen turned to his fiancée and shrugged sheepishly. 

“I told you,” was all Jared said, then he grinned.

“Jared?” Jensen’s voice was filled with suspicion. At Jared’s eye flick he looked up and saw--they had been maneuvered under the mistletoe. Laughing and shaking his head, Jensen pointed out, “you don’t need that to kiss me, Jay.”

“No,” Jared agreed softly. “But every little bit helps.” As they kissed under the mistletoe, happy, healthy and soon-to-married, Jensen knew things would never be the same again. 

And he was very all right with that. 

 

End

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if I should change/add to the tags


End file.
